I’ve been questioning a lot what exactly I want this blog to be. It has been over two years since I’ve made a post. It started as a project for school, but I’ve always wanted to “make it something special”. A place to share my journey, to share what I’ve learned along the way, to help others who are struggling and looking for connection and support. I’ve always hesitated to make any posts at all because, in my mind, nothing was ever good enough. This is a deep fear that holds most of us back, it keeps us small, it keeps us stuck. We end up dying never sharing our gifts because we are so outwardly focused on trying to please and receive the love and attention from everyone around us, or give all that we have to someone else, that we forget to give that love to ourselves FIRST!
Have you noticed this in your own life? Are you giving so much of yourself to others that you don’t have anything left at the end of the day (you may even be crashing before your day even begins! This happened to me at one point in my journey) Are you comparing yourself so much to everyone else that you forget who YOU are? Do you spend most of your time and energy trying to please other people, seeking their love and gratification, only to end up empty-hearted and disappointed?
I spent most of my life playing small because I was afraid of who I would be if I began to release the limiting beliefs and fears that held me back. The fear of the unknown, the uncertainty can be overwhelming. At times we can even begin to imagine the worst or even say the most hurtful things to ourselves because we believe that if we say these things to ourselves first, or experience this truama in our mind, then no one else can hurt us. What we don’t realize though is that focusing on the “worst” or the “bad” in our lives only creates more of the same. Not to mention this raises our stress hormones through the roof, which begins to break down and dysregulate our bodies. While it is important not to sugar coat what is going on and pretend that everything is perfect when it most certainly not, there is no harm in beginning to believe that you can and will open up to the greatness in your life that is waiting to embrace you! When you do this, you begin to raise your own vibration, attracting into your life the people, places, and things that will help you achieve whatever greatness it is that you desire for yourself.
Life is not always easy, and certainly not perfect. We are all going through some struggle at some point in time. Even when you are focusing on the good and flowing, you will have lessons to learn, you simply move through them with more grace and ease as you embrace this practice. It takes time, it takes patience, it takes you being kind and supportive to yourself. What if we could start to relax into the uncertainty and allow what wants to come up and move through us in the moment to do so, rather than fighting it so viciously? What if we could open our minds and hearts to others, to see them in a new way, to challenge ourselves to see things through their eyes? Doing this in a way that we stand grounded in our true values, but open up to the compassion, curiosity, and playfulness within our spirits.
My challenge to you is to simply become more aware of your thoughts, without judgment and without attaching to them (Remember they are just thoughts!)
How are you speaking to yourself? Could you begin to soften and treat yourself the same way you would treat a deeply loved friend?
What experiences trigger fear in your life?
In what ways does this fear hold you back?
In what ways do you resist and suppress your truth?
With the energy of releasing and letting go, I will leave you with something I wrote on the theme of resistance floating in my mind.
Pushing, screaming, kicking, fighting
Clinching onto these beliefs
Holding on so tight,
As if I let go I might die
Who would I be without them?
Where would I run?
Where would I hide?
What would I do?
What if I could just let go?
To just be?
To trust that I am guided on this path
Growing into who I’m destined to be
It feels light
It feels supported
It feels completely loving & adorning
You don’t have to have it figured all out
You don’t have to control every single step,
Plan every minute or second of your day
You can just stop,
Ask & listen
The voice you hear is your truth
Full of Divine love
Listen closely my dear,
Allow the releasing of all fear.
Let go of the doubt,
Let go of the littleness,
Let go of the need to be perfect
Breathe through the discomfort,
As the emotions move through in waves.
Simply be with your body and this moment
Update: I recently recorded a meditation on releasing resistance, which can be found here, on YouTube ❤